No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
