the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
