Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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