I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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