Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
