I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
