i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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