hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize