Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
