i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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