It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I touched a dick in church today
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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