you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
