At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
