just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
