would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
