:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
