I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
