Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
