Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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