did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
