I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
