But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
