That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i came on her dog
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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