I heard we made out
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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