In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
