Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
