WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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