yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
