I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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