is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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