M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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