You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
