Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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