Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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