I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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