I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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