FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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