I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
