It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
did i just pee glitter
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
