Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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