life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
