It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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