He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
