I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize