a queef is a wish your heart makes.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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