i may or may not be watching the land before time
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
