He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
