im drinking this country out of the recession.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
