she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
