is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
