You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
