Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
