We're like a lot better than the average bears
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
