Walk of Shame. In a state park.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
