I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
