We won't sleep together?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
