So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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