Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
