i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
