she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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