I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
