Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
