So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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