Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I skipped work to stalk him.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
