Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
